The Christian Perspective of Marriage and Divorce! Part 17

The Christian Perspective of Marriage and Divorce! Part 17

The Christian Perspective of Marriage and Divorce!

Memory Verse
I Timothy 2:12

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (I Corinthians 11:3) George H. Pember wrote in 1876 in his masterpiece Earth’s Earliest Ages that a major end-time sign would be the change in the relation of the sexes and because of it a violation of the Law of Marriage. He noted that an undue prominence of the female sex would lead to a new and rebellious spirit of independence from the authority of man. The American Law and Economics Review wrote that women file slightly more than two-thirds of divorce cases in the US. There is some variation among states, and the numbers have also varied over time with about 60% of filings by women in most of the 20th century and over 70% by women in some states just after no-fault divorce was introduced. The Word of God is clear on the subject of divorce and the role of the husband and the wife. We see from scripture that Satan will always attempt to destroy the harmony of God’s authority and there is no clearer example of this than the rise of the female sex and their modern approach to marriage. We must ask ourselves, is the Word of God outdated? Is it still relevant and the standard of living for the Christian? Can Christians divorce, and if so under what circumstances? Let us prayerfully search the scriptures and open our hearts to the Holy Spirit to understand what the Lord is speaking to the Christians.

I. The First Marriage

Genesis 2:18-25 & Matthew 19:3-9

The establishment of marriage was God’s doing. He sets the standards and principles for its order and workings. To disobey them is to open oneself up for failure and even divorce. The idea to make the woman in the very beginning was for Adam, God saw he shouldn’t be alone and made Eve specifically for him. (I Corinthians 11:8-9) God made everything else from the earth, every animal and even man, but the woman was to be a special creation. She does not come from the ground, but from Adam. Even though they are two separate people they share an oneness because she is the result of his rib. This oneness is the basis of marriage. (Genesis 2:22-25) They had a natural, soulical and spiritual unity (see ref Z vs. 23 Dake Bible) that today cannot be duplicated. God joins men and women together in oneness spiritually, but we are born from our own set of parents. Eve came directly from Adam and their oneness and unity is what created marriage. Marriage is oneness and unity! (Ephesians 5:28)

a) A Help MeetAzar in Hebrew and it means to aid and assist. Eve was to assist Adam in the governance of the worlds. (Genesis 1:26-31) She was also made to populate the worlds with Adamic offspring. It should be noted that because of their perfect unity, there was no need for the authority of Adam over Eve. It is not until the fall that such distinctions are made. (Genesis 3:16 & I Timothy 2:14)

Know This – In a Christian marriage God expects the husband and wife to operate in unity. The husband is to respect the opinion of the wife and the wife is to have opinions that are in perfect harmony with the Lord and His word. This is illustrated by Abraham and Sarah. God told Abraham to obey Sarah (Genesis 21:9-13) even though she was totally submitted to his headship. (I Peter 3:6)

The will and plan of God is the thing to be sought and through oneness and unity it can be apprehended!

b) Adam the Very Capable Husband – God gave Adam exceptional wisdom and skill. We see that he named every living creature and to this day it is still the name thereof. He is more than able to support and provide for every need that the woman would have need of. God wanted the woman to come from Adam. Out of him from his rib, she would receive these same capabilities, (Genesis 2:19-22) Oneness produces capability.

c) Bone of My Bone – “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” (Ephesians 5:28) Upon meeting Eve and recognizing what their relationship would be, Adam now named God’s last creation woman which is Ishshah in Hebrew and means she-man or womb-man. She would be the part of humankind that would produce offspring. Adam names his wife Eve that means live spring. (Genesis 3:20) She comes from him and is closer and more intimate than all of God’s creation. Adam now sets the precedence for all humanity. Whoever marries will leave the authority of his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. Adam and Eve were of one flesh. She came from his rib and this is the basis of all marriage. The job of making the two one or in Adam and Eve’s case the one, two is and always has been God’s task. Jesus said “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.” What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:4-6) Marriage in the very beginning was instituted by God to be the oneness of a man and woman and he takes it upon himself to unify and cleave (stick or glue together) the two together.

II. What Happened to Marriage after the fall?

Genesis 3

In the Garden, Satan hatches a plan to disrupt the unity of the husband and wife away from God. He first deceives the Serpent who has the gift of persuasive speech. Satan uses all the abilities of the serpent to attack what appears to be the weaker of the two, Eve. (Genesis 3:1) The whole deceptive conversation should have been avoided or at least discerned that its origin was evil. What is it about the woman that she sees the need to talk? We can trace this trait all the way back to the garden.

Know This – Any conversation where Satan and his plan is, is a conversation where no good thing will come out of it. The question must also be asked, what is it about man that allows him to absolve himself of his responsibility and duty?

a) The Woman’s Conversation – (I Corinthians 14:34-35 & I Timothy 2:11-14)

Because it was in Eve’s DNA to talk, she entered into a conversation that opened her up to deception. She was talked out of her faith and obedience to God’s Word. The abilities of speech and communication she possessed lawfully were now being used against her.

Note – It can be seen throughout human history that women have had a prominent place in false religions. According to Hislop’s, The Two Babylons, the ancient Babylon’s cult started by Nimrod (Genesis 10:8-10) and his queen Semiramis spread among all nations. The objects of worship were the supreme father, the incarnate female or Queen of Heaven and her son. The concept of female gods had its origins from this Babylonian religion and is called an abomination by God. (Revelation 17:3-5) In I Kings 21:25-26 we see Queen Jezebel’s influence upon the king to introduce this false religion to Israel. It is called witchcraft in II Kings 9:22 and similar to the hypnotic, demon inspired spell being cast by the serpent in the Garden of Eden. It seems Eve’s communication with the serpent was of a spiritual nature. Not only did it change the steadfast opinion they had about the Word of God, but it introduced a spirit to rebel and break unity with God. No wonder God calls the great false religion Babylon, the Mother of Harlots and uses female descriptions to describe it. The woman’s satanic interaction with Satan introduces false religion upon the world. She is now too close to the purposes and plans of Satan and must be protected. To regain back some semblance of unity with God, God decrees “And thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.(Genesis 3:16) The wife now must learn in silence and never usurp authority over the man. Because she was deceived and too open to the working of Satan, to safeguard the woman God places the man over her and commands that she don’t be so quick to talk because Satan seems to have natural in roads to her speaking. (I Timothy 2:11-15) This rule is carried to the church also. Paul, in addressing the church at Corinth about certain issues concerning the Gifts of the Spirit, taught that the women should not allow their gifts of speaking to break the rule of silence. Paul knew that the sister needed to be safeguarded against evil spirits who always seek to dwell around spiritual activity. (I Corinthians 14:29,

I Corinthians 14:32-35 see ref E-I Dake Bible & I Samuel 28:7) Why a woman? (Acts 16:16) The lesson here is that the wife should be slow to speak. (I Peter 3:1-4)

b) Man’s Responsibility Neglected Genesis 2:15-17 & Romans 5:12-14

It is clear from scripture that the responsibility to cultivate and guard the Garden of Eden was given to man. (see ref +o Mans Duty vs 15 Dake Bible) He was to protect his dominion and the adherence to God’s word for himself and Eve and all of creation. When Adam “hearkened to the voice of his wife” Genesis 3:17 and disobeyed God’s voice for hers he surrendered his responsibility and therefore failed in his duty. The Word says Eve was deceived not Adam. (I Timothy 2:14) Why did Adam willingly obey his wife’s voice over God’s and give up the authority and dominion given him? He loved Eve incorrectly! By incorrectly, I mean he was willing to do anything for her even when she was wrong. She was deceived, but she was bone of his bone, his rib. No one shared with him the intimacy that his wife had brought him. His weakness for his wife is the very thing Satan focused on and observed when looking for a way to overthrow Adam. Loving his wife correctly would have been Adam correcting Eve and rebuking the Serpent and the Devil. But it appears that his great affection unbalanced him and caused him not to protect his dominion or his wife.

Know This – It is not love when the husband yields his authority and leadership to his wife. It is out of order and very destructive. The lesson here is when a husband loves a wife incorrectly he will allow her to be the head of the house and therefore weaken the home.

Note – What happened to marriage after the fall is that the unity of the husband and the wife was severed. They lost unity with God and it changed the way that they cohabitated together. Eve opens the wife up to new temptations through weaknesses found in her personality and Adam, because he neglects his responsibility, introduces abandonment issues to the husband. God steps in and establishes the order and procedure for how the marriage is to work moving forward. Let us now see the procedure for marriage today.

III. Christian Marriage Today

Ephesians 5:21-33, Colossians 3:18-19 & I Corinthians 7:1-40)

Jesus said to the Pharisees “male and female”, God made them for the purpose of marriage. (Matthew 19:4-6) Marriage is the union of a man and a woman. The first marriage indicates the procedure for all other marriages to follow. No other union is acceptable to God and true Christians, and to attempt to expand the definition is to insult the creative plan and design of the Creator! Christian marriage is even more regulatory. God places more emphasis on the unions of His children than those outside of Christianity because marriage is a covenant between God and the couple He desires to join together in matrimony. Most unbelievers don’t recognize this most sacred contract and often rebel in the process of the two becoming one, but God demands of Christians the strict adherence to this most holy union. “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” (Hebrews 13:4 NLT) The covenant of marriage is of the utmost importance!

A. The Christian Husband – I Corinthians 11:3, I Peter 3:7, Colossians 3:19 & I Corinthians 7:3)

If the man (husband) is to claim his right as the head of the woman (wife) he must first submit to the rules for such order and be submitted to his head, Christ! One cannot truly claim this authority of headship without being subject first to his authority. The authority given the husband comes from Christ and in order to comprehend and operate in it successfully, he must be yielded completely to Him. The Christian that is out of order with his head is opening his home to the same disobedience that is shown to Christ! The divine order of submission, “woman to man, man to Christ, Christ to God” must be kept in order for the unity to be established and preserved. If Christ had been out of order with God He couldn’t require man to be in order with Him. Also, if man is out of order with Christ, he cannot expect the woman to be in order with him. The key for the Christian husband is for him to be in his proper place with Christ, his head, the one from whom his authority is given in the first place!

1. His Duty – Ephesians 5:25-33

a) Proverbs 18:22 NLT states “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.” From God’s Word we see that marriage is initiated by the man. Since he is to be the head, he is responsible for the success of God’s institution. He therefore must be careful and discerning when choosing his mate. She must be a treasure in order to incur the favor God places on unions that are in His will. If the man chooses incorrectly it could limit God’s favor and influence in his marriage. She could not be a Christian, she could be unruly and incapable of entering into a covenant with God. The man is the head and therefore responsible for the covenant process. He must therefore find a treasure! The rule of safety for finding a spouse is the command in I Corinthians 7:39Only in the Lord”. “House and riches are the inheritance of fathers; and a prudent wife is from the Lord.” (Proverbs 19:14) The man of God must marry a woman of God. “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” (I Peter 3:7) Man’s first duty is to find a wife that will promote unity with God and therefore receive His favor.

b) The husband must love his wife like Christ loved the church! To fully understand this duty we must see how Christ first loved the church. While it is impossible to know all of the ways Jesus loved His body (Dake ref S 16 Facts), Christ and Church gives us a good starting point. We do see in vs 28 that husbands are to love their wives as there own bodies. Just as Adam declared “bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh” to indicate the unity that God’s love creates, the Christian husband is to love on the same level.

Know This – If a man does not have the proper respect and love for himself he will be inadequate in his dealings with his wife. Refusing to work or do things to enhance his life will certainly spill over into his relationships. “He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” We are told in vs 29 to nourish our wives. Nourish in Greek means to bring up, care for and protect. Adam, in the Garden, failed to protect Eve by not protecting her and bringing her along to the will of God. Husbands must not neglect this most solemn responsibility. He must drive the Devil and any other harmful thing away and provide a safe environment for his wife. We also see that husbands should cherish their wives. Cherish is Thalpo in Greek and means to warm in one’s bosom and to foster love and tender care. The husband is to hold his wife and show tenderness and foster being in love. Sometimes the man can be too gruff and unreachable. What he thinks is being strong is really being unapproachable. May the Lord open our eyes to see that being tender and loving is not a weakness, but a strength! Ephesians 5:31 speaks of our decision to place our wives above everyone else. Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children or any other persons are to become secondary in relation to our wives. The covenant in the very beginning was between the husband and the wife, not the baby momma and the kids you had before you married your wife. I know there are situations and circumstances that occur in life that make this duty difficult, but God’s Word is the guide to Christian marriage and all the more reason to conduct one’s life in a wise, approving way so many of these distractions can be avoided! But take heart, God’s Word and His Holy Spirit counsel can still fix and walk through all marital difficulty. You may even need counsel, but your objective should be to obey the Word of God!

c) Physical Love is Man’s Duty Proverbs 5:15-23 NLT, I Corinthians 7:1-5 NLT

The Christian husband is instructed from God’s word to satisfy and be satisfied sexually by his own wife. He is told to never waste his seed on any other woman. “Why spill the water of your springs in the streets having sex with just anyone.” (Proverbs 5:16 NLT) In fact the man of God is told not to be captivated (ravished) by anyone else but his wife. He must not give attention to or think about any other woman but his own wife. Comparisons with other women and complimenting other women are indicators that someone other than your wife is captivating the man of God. “The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs.” (I Corinthians 7:3 NLT) I believe strongly that when the husband loses desire for his wife it is because of two factors. It could be mental or physical. The mental can be addressed through readjustment in thinking and communication. “I will rejoice in the wife of my youth.” I will put all my affection and desire towards my own wife and pleasing her. This is very simple but very effective. The will of the husband decides that he will only be joined to his wife. The physical can be a little more complex, as we age we men lose some of our sexual potency. Our testosterone levels drop. Stress and lack of rest contribute to our lack of desire. We have to be honest with ourselves. We are not the same young dynamos we once were. (If you are under 50 you probably will miss this point, because you’re still a young dynamo), but the man of God must fulfill this responsibility or Satan could enter in. (I Corinthians 7:5) So the husband must do his part to stay fit, he must eat better, rest better and if necessary take supplements to aid him in his duties sexually. (Ecclesiastes 9:9 NLT) Admonishes us “Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.” Husbands enjoy your wives!

d) Provide For the House – Proverbs 21:25 NLT, II Thessalonians 3:10-12 & Proverbs 12:24 NLT

The husband is also given the responsibility to provide for his house. It is true that in the modern world, some wives actually make more money than their husbands, but this does not absolve him of the responsibility. As the head he must ensure that all finances coming into the house are used for the security and betterment of the house. If the marriage is working correctly it won’t matter who makes the most money because both the husband and the wife recognize their roles. The idea is that the husband as the head is doing everything in his power to ensure the security of his house. “Laziness leads to a sagging roof; idleness leads to a leaky house.” (Ecclesiastes 10:18 NLT) The husband must make sure things are working and fixed. He may not be a plumber, mechanic or any other trade needed to take care of things but because he is not lazy he will find those that do and employ them. The Christian husband is not “slothful in business”. (Romans 12:11) In addition to the financial duties of the husband, he must set the spiritual order and rule for the house. By spiritual order, I mean he is responsible for the relationship his family has with the Lord. (See Deuteronomy 4:9-10) Keeping the spiritual order of God, the head of the woman is the man, but the head of the children is the parents. The order is set by the husband. It may be that he is a step-father, in such cases the relationship between him and the children will determine how the rule will be established, whether through his wife or directly from him. “And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” (Deuteronomy 11:19) The husband’s responsibilities are more than just the wife, but everyone in his house is under his authority and therefore his responsibility. The main idea is for all to be in unity with God and with each other. Being a Christian husband means that he must be responsible for all duties and responsibilities as mandated by God’s word and must never absolve himself of his duty. (See Colossians 3:19-21)

B. The Christian Wife – Colossians 3:18, I Timothy 2:9-15 & I Peter 3:1-6

At the center of all of God’s command for the Christian wife is the admonition to submit to her husband. It must be understood that the submission of the wife is based on a Christian agenda. First, this means she can break with her husband if his demands are not in line with the Word of God and may cause her to live incorrectly as a Christian. This is why Christians should only marry other Christians, so the perfect order of God (I Corinthians 11:3) can flow smoothly in their marriage. But if a sister is married to an unbeliever (or a brother for that matter) the Word of God tells us that since you were married before you became a Christian you can’t just divorce your spouse. The Word tells us how the saved wife should relate with her unsaved husband in I Corinthians 7:12-16. (see ref C and 20 Commands Concerning Marriage, see ref D-G Dake Bible) The Christian wives are admonished to win their husbands to Christ. (see note H I Peter 3:1 Dake Bible) Some wives seek to leave the unbelieving because he is not a Christian, but the Word of God does not condone this. Some even rebel against the husband’s authority because he is not in her church.

Her Duty – Ephesians 5:22-24 & I Timothy 2:11-15

a) The Christian wife is to submit to her husband. The Greek word for submit, is Hupotasso, and it means to be under the obedience of or to be subordinate to. It is clear from scripture that the wife is to be under the leadership of her Christian husband. This does not mean that she is to be a blind robot without her own thoughts or opinions. She is still the helpmate and bone of his bones, and her input in the marriage is very important. That being said, the wife must not overstate or be argumentative in her communication with her husband. “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” (I Peter 3:4) Remember it was the woman’s communication that led to the fall in the Garden of Eden and Satan has been attempting to use the woman’s communication in a destructive way ever since. When we study scriptures that state that the woman keeps silence, it is always based on the fall and how Satan was allowed into paradise through the over speak of the woman. (I Corinthians 14:34-35) It is then true that if the wife is to submit correctly to her husband she must control her communication, this does not mean she doesn’t talk to her husband, it just means she is wise and knows how to. Sigao is a Greek word for silence that means “to hold one’s peace”. It doesn’t mean never speak. Again, Sarah called Abraham lord, but he still had to listen to her. (Genesis 21:9-13)

Know This – You may be right, sister, in a dispute with your husband concerning a matter, but you are still under authority. You must pray and tell the Lord to show your husband and keep silence. The Lord will move on your behalf just like he did for Sarah, whose daughters you are. Becoming argumentative or combative just because you are right will never work. Remember, Proverbs 19:13bA quarrelsome wife is as annoying as a constant dripping.”

b) The wife must be subject to her own husband! Again, Hupotasso means to be under obedience. It is a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden. This attitude is akin to what the woman was to have in her DNA moving forward after the fall in the Garden of Eden. “And thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” (Genesis 3:16c) Desire in Hebrew here is Teshuwqah, and it means longing as in Song of Solomon 7:10 “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.”

Know This – When a woman loves a man she will have no difficulty being subject to him. It is already in her personality as a daughter of Eve to do so. Dake says, “Your desire shall be subject to your husband.” It must be noted that women who are under subjection to their husbands know his desires, his feelings, what will help him and how to motivate him. Plainly stated she knows how to please her man. It’s more than just a bedroom cliché, but a voluntary mindset of doing those things that please and helps her husband. Notice carefully vs. 24 for it specifically tells the wife to be subject to your own husband. “The submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God (vs. 21) is the Christian way, but it causes great difficulty in a marriage when the wife can be subject to the Pastor and not to her own husband. The inability of the wife to “be in subjection to your own husband; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear” (I Peter 3:1-2) has hurt many marriages and also hurt the church to a certain degree. This failure on behalf of the sister has left many unbelieving husbands to declare, “It’s me or the church!” The wife, who loves the Lord, responds “The Church!”  But hold up, don’t we see the Word of God? If a sister is obeying God’s Word and trusting Him that ultimatum would never surface!

c) The Christian wife must meet the responsibility of sex. Some have used God, the church, spiritual piety and many other excuses for not rendering due benevolence. None of which are legal reasons.

(I Corinthians 7:2-5) It is noted by Dake in ref. M that all acts of perversion or unnatural affection must be absolutely rejected. This is often a major reason fulfilling the sexual needs of an unbelieving husband is so difficult. In such cases, the wife must learn to be what I like to call legally sexy. She can shop at Victoria Secrets for that enticing little something that gets his motor started while at the same time remaining classy and saved. It will take some creativity and wisdom, but God will help the sister. In a marriage where both are Christian, the challenge will be to keep the fire burning, and without a doubt, the Christian wife is the key to that. “Again, in Proverbs 5:19 “She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.” Notice the Word of God describes the physical attributes of the wife to encourage the husband’s desire. Men are visual by nature, so the wife’s attention to this is important. If the Christian is wise, they will pay close attention to how they look and smell.

d) The Christian wife is a helpmeet. Proverbs 31:10-31 describes the wife’s impact upon the husband and family. It is not a sin for a Christian woman to be rich, successful and have great influence. I believe that if the sister is working and supporting the house financially, it is a great blessing to her husband. (vs 11-12) Today women are business owners, entrepreneurs, doctors, lawyers, and many other enriching occupations. The wise husband will welcome his wife’s accomplishment and nurture her to succeed because he knows she is his helpmeet.

Know This – Just because you make more money than your husband doesn’t mean you are the head of the household or control how finance is spent, you are still subject to your own husband!

Note – If Christians pay attention to God’s Word and put it into practice they will have little difficulty in their marriage. It is only when we leave the Word’s way of relating with our spouse that we experience trouble. Let us walk in the Word so we can remain in unity with God and with each other. God can then perform his work of making the two, one.

IV. Should Christians Divorce?

Malachi 2:14-16 NLT & Matthew 19:3-9

The break down in a marriage is a most serious event. The covenant between God, the man, and woman is being broken, in addition to the covenant between man and wife. “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” is what our Lord told the Pharisees. It is important that Christians enter into union in a very careful manner because when we wed, it is a covenant for life. God told Israel “Yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.

God places great emphasis on the covenant He enters into with the husband and wife and expects them to keep it. Only God knows the skill and power it takes to make the twain one flesh. All of His effort and energy He puts into a marriage must not be unappreciated. As a matter of fact, it insults Him when people divorce. Malachi 2:16 states “For I hate divorce!” God doesn’t ask us to partake in a covenant we can’t keep. He totally expects us to remain married til death do us part, but there are circumstances that can arise in a marriage where divorce is permittable. Here are some:

  1.  Adultery – “And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” Jesus tells us when our spouse has been unfaithful through fornication, which is an unlawful sexual relation; we have a right to divorce. Notice, I did not say you must divorce but legally have the right to. If a spouse is willing to forgive and work things out, then to God be the glory. (John 8:3-11) But they should go and sin no more. Remember Proverbs 6:32 NLT “But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool for he destroys himself.”(See I Corinthians 6:9-20)
  2. Abandonment – “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.” (I Corinthians 7:15) Here we see that the one who abandons his spouse is called the unbelieving. One who is a believer will not leave his spouse. This is why if two Christians divorce other than for fornication (which God can forgive) one or even both may not be true believers.
  3. Physical and Mental Abuse – “Husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them.” (Colossians 3:19) The Greek word for bitter is Pikraino and means to be bitterly irritated; it is akin to Pikros, which means to cut or prick through by piercing. This harsh way of treating the spouse is condemned by scripture for it describes the escalating way in which conflict is started. The NLT says it this way “Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.” Neither Christian should live under harsh circumstances,” husband or wife. I’m not talking about the normal arguments or disagreements that come with marriage, but the physical and sometimes dangerous mental abuse that can destroy a soul. God has called us to peace.” (I Corinthians 7:15c)

Know This – If a Christian stays in an abusive relationship, they are in danger, spirit, soul and of course body.

4. Death – I don’t know why some believe they can’t remarry when their spouse dies, but it is in God’s word, (Romans 7:3) that it is permitted.

5. When your spouse tells you to choose them over Christ.

Sometimes the devil takes over a spouse, no matter how you fulfill your responsibility as a good Christian partner in the marriage. I have literally seen the husband tell the wife “Me or that Church”. When such a bold statement against one’s faith is proclaimed, it is indeed an attack on the Christian. Because of that spirit that is working in the unbelieving, it is but a matter of time before they leave the Christian or give the Christian a legal reason to leave them.  One thing is for sure the unbeliever is not “pleased to dwell with the spouse.” (I Corinthians 7:12-13) Jesus said, “He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” (Matthew 10:37) With that being, said the Christian should certainly not allow a Demon possessed spouse to take them out of fellowship with their God!

Final Note – These guidelines for marriage and divorce are Christian guidelines. Naturally, because of the multiplicity of marriages, all of the circumstances surrounding the subject could not be addressed. But hopefully, through this study guide, you have been given information that can lead you into a more committed relationship with your spouse. One thing is for sure, “God hates divorce,” but He loves marriage. Let the Christian love what God loves and hate what the Lord hates! This rebellion we see in the roles of men and women in the world is an attack on God’s word and the institution of marriage. The church must never allow the world’s way and culture to influence it. We are the light of the world, and if ever there was a light to be seen by the world, it is the Light of a Christian Marriage! Amen!